Love is...

Where do I start? Well I've only been in Haiti for 4 days (and only 3 in Jacmel) but it seems like a lot longer then that, but not necessarily in a bad way. My first day back at the base was quite interesting. First late me give you a little background on what's going on at the base now. Right now there are 17 people living at the base including 4 orphan children that the mission has adopted. They are Caprice (probably around 7), Roselea (around the same), Daniel (maybe 6 or 7??) and Santiben (somewhere between 3 and 5). As you can probably tell no one is really sure of there ages, we have birth certificates for 3 of them but we are pretty sure they're not correct. Anyway, back to my first day here; on my first day here I got thrown up on my a little boy who had malaria, cleaned him, held him, put him to sleep, took a tap tap into town with Sandra, got the boy's test results, found out that he did indeed have malaria, went to the doctor and got the prescription, found out he needed shots and an IV as well, went all around town looking for the medication and IV supplies, finally found them, brought them back, went to help find the nurse, found her, helped her give the shots, learned how to put an IV in, and then stayed with him for a while while he tried to sleep. He have us quite a scare. It was also Sandra's birthday that day (by the way, Sandra is one of my good friends from my DTS who is now working in Haiti) Sandra is also the one who mostly takes care of the children. I can tell it's a lot of work, especially considering the medical problems the children came to the base with, two of them had worms and one had scabies (and those are just the things we know about), but she is really doing a wonderful job.

I must say, it's only been 4 days and I can already tell it's going to be really hard to leave the children, I love them soo much. They also have taught me a lot about what it means to really have love for someone. I can't help but think about how many people I've heard talk about wanted to go start an orphanage or go help children in third world countries (myself included) but I don't think many people know how hard it really is, I didn't. It's easy to love a child you babysit or play with, when the hardest part of loving them is changing a dipper or getting up early because they are up already or MAYBE even having to take them to the doctor. It's quite another thing to care for a child who is dirty and smelly from an infection that she's had for who know how long or who has thrown up on you or peed on you and all over the clothes and sheets you just spent a better part of the day before hand washing, or when it's 90 degrees out even at 8:00 at night and the child still wants share a sweaty mattress with you, if you can do all that all still love sharing that sweaty pee-stained mattress with them, that's love. I don't know if I could even say I have a love like that yet. I though I did, but even I haven't done all the things on that list (I've done most but not all). That kind of love has to come from God. It has to be something He gives you, otherwise, where does it come from? I pray that God will give me that kind of capability to love someday. But I do love these children, I really do. Tonight I share my bed with a sweaty little body who would wrap her little arms around me just to make share that I was not going anywhere. I couldn't help but wonder though, I love this girl, but my love her is no where near what she deserves, what a mother could give her and it breaks my heart, and, what kind of person am I? I really do love her, but I'm only here for two weeks. I pray that we will always feel loved.

Well, it's getting late so I should probably get to bed. If you are a person who prays, please pray for my precious children, for their health and that they may always feel loved. If you are not a person who prays, I ask you to reconsider. Would it really hurt anything?

Good night and I love you all!

Lauren McConkey
Jacmel, Haiti